Funniest claims in the election campaign

In no particular order:

• Bruce Roemmelt (D), challenger in the 13th district. He has a "plan" to fix transportation. His whole campaign is "if I were your delegate, you'd be home now". I don't think he means he would destroy the economy and get you laid off. Anyway, he has sent me at least 6 different mailers. Each says he has a plan, but it is too big to fit in the flier. So I went ahead and looked up the plan on the web site. It was only 392 words long. That is half a column, and would easily fit on a flier. Guess Roemmelt is an underachiever. If he can't fit 392 words on a flier, how's he going to get thousands more cars moving on the roads? His plan isn't worth 392 words either -- I think that's why he won't actually send it out, he's counting on people to NOT read his plan.
• Bruce Roemmelt (D). None of his fliers seems to say he is a democrat. However, they are all sponsored by the Democrat Party of Virginia, so I guess we can figure it out.
• Hilda Barg (D), challenger in the 52nd district: Attacks her opponent for claiming veteran status, because he "only served" for 7 months.
• HB : Having only debated her opponent one time, her web site referenced two previous "debates" she said she won -- except they were simply events where the two candidates spoke at separate times.
• HB : Claimed her opponent voted to allow illegal immigrants into colleges, when he in fact voted against them twice.
• Jeff Frederick (R), Delegate 52nd district: In a flier where he said he was "independent", had a dictionary with the word "independent" circled. Only if you look closely the word circled isn't "independent", it doesn't even start with an "i". Oops.
• HB: (she's full of them) - At the one debate, we find out why she didn't want to debate, as she seems to say she had no choice but to vote for excessive development because she was told she had to. The reporters feel so bad for her they give her a do-over, where she can explain she meant that the lawyers said they had to honor decades-old zoning.
• Speaking of do-overs, the reporter still felt bad about HB even with his help, so having published an article about the debate in the Potomac News on page A3, he came back two days later with a front-page article on the same race, with the same issues -- only with answers gleaned from multiple sources, where he could try to make Hilda look like she knew something.
• Kaine (D), Lt. Governor, candidate for Governor: "I only pretended to break my promise to show how desperate Kilgore is to show that I would break my promise". OK, he didn't quite say that. But that's what it sounded like.